Everyday Confirmations of the Stillness – Guruparwaz

Posted on June 12, 2010. Filed under: Telling our own Stories |

A few years back I was working in a college bookstore. One day I was cleaning out my email inbox and came across an email from the campus library announcing their new acquisitions. As I quickly scrolled through the list a book written by the Dalia Lama caught my attention. I felt a very great desire to read it. Books in general have an intoxicating effect on me but particularly when coupled with subjects that are close to my heart. I knew, however, that my time for reading or doing anything else was non-existent. I was working a physically and mentally demanding full-time job, going to school part-time and along with my husband raising an active family. Every spare moment I felt compelled to study so that I could maintain excellent grades. It was absolutely insane to add another thing to my schedule. I did not even have the time to go and check the book out. I sat for a moment investigating my duality. When I came to a point of inner peace I knew that I didn’t need anything outside myself to make me whole and that whatever I was supposed to experience would come to me. Within myself I said, “If I am meant to read this book it will have to grow feet and walk to me” and I hit the delete button on the email. In that very same instant my phone rang. I was surprised that it was the very librarian whose email I had just deleted. It was so uncanny that I felt a little guilty having just rejected her list of offerings. I blurted out “I just read your email” and half expected her to say I know. She said they had a lot of good books this time and was there anything that I wanted. So, I told her about the Dalia Lama’s book. This was too weird she said she would check it out for me and bring it over right away. Just when I thought she was some kind of omniscient being turns out she let me know the reason for her call. She needed to purchase a book for a class she was taking and she was calling to make sure we had it. That book did grow feet and it was a confirmation of something my teacher had taught that there are two ways to get something, one way is to chase after it and the other is to let it come to you. When you let it come to you, you know it is really yours. The challenge is stilling yourself from the chase.



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